There Is No Before Again - Thesis

There Is No Before Again is a large-scale installation exploring the lasting scar of sexual assault and the loss of your old self: the “before.” It centers on the grief of a self that cannot be returned to, and how trauma reshapes identity and remains embedded within it. Through a contained space, imitating a subconscious memory.

The installation is constructed from three hinged wood panels forming a corner-like space that the viewer can step into, creating an intimate and confrontational encounter. At the center, a fawn made with one continuous white thread represents innocence and vulnerability. Two wolves on the outer panels, embodying the predator, both engaged and facing inward toward the fawn. The angled panels direct their bodies toward the center, creating a sense of entrapment and closing in around the figure.

A looped animation of a running fawn is projected onto the figure, endlessly repeating. This constant looping suggests a bitter fixation on a lost state of purity, a memory that cannot evolve or move forward. The motion implies escape, but its repetition traps it in place, reinforcing the idea that there is no future for what existed before.

Broken mirrors are placed across the panels, bending and fragmenting the viewer’s reflection. As the viewer steps into the installation and moves closer, they begin to see themselves through the angled surfaces, their images get distorted, showing a lost sense of self.

Frame construction by Numan Gültekin. Sound design by Murathan Biliktü.